Bob Schaffer says liberals are socialists

In the November 3rd edition of the Highlands Ranch Herald, former Colorado congressman Bob Schaffer was quoted as saying:

Liberals believe government owns private means of production.

I think Bob is a little confused. The dictionary has this definition for liberalism:

A political theory founded on the natural goodness of humans and the autonomy of the individual and favoring civil and political liberties, government by law with the consent of the governed, and protection from arbitrary authority.

and this definition for socialism:

Any of various theories or systems of social organization in which the means of producing and distributing goods is owned collectively or by a centralized government that often plans and controls the economy.

I'm willing to bet that Schaffer also believes that capitalism is central to the teachings of Jesus. Everybody remembers the Sermon on the Mount when Jesus said, "Thou shalt not regulate corporations, nor tax their profits." Wait, you don't remember reading that? Well, that's too bad! Don't you know that the writer of Matthew's gospel was just a liberal reporter, and slanted the coverage of the speech to leave out those remarks?

Actually, you should Google "liberal socialism" sometime and see what pops up. The results are pretty scary. I had no idea that embracing the definition of liberalism that I cited above meant that I was a disciple of the Antichrist. I'm so ashamed.